365 Days Later…

And now for your annual Chicago Gore Post!

It has been literally a whole calendar year since my last entry and that is… I don’t even know what word to use.  

  • Incredible?
  • Sad?
  • Impressive?
  • Depressing?

I’ll let you (you did stay around waiting for another post didn’t you?) decide on that. But for now I think it’s best to recap what’s happened since the last time the Earth was in the same space in orbit of the Sun. 

  • I left off with my wife 8 months pregnant and I’m extremely happy to announce that we had a baby boy!  His name is Thomas and he most definitely inherited his mother’s button nose.   
  • Unfortunately he had to stay in the NICU for 3 more days before we could take him home!   
  • Halloween came a few months later and a Navy Captain chose the wrong time to step into our “Turn You Back to a Baby” Machine.   
  • A dress went viral on the Internet. My poor poor wife insists its Black and Blue.  Clearly, for sane people, it’s White and Gold.   
  • I got a new job!  Still working for the State of Illinois in IDES but now I’m an Administrative Assistant working downtown instead of trekking 40-50 miles back and forth to the burbs!   
  • Easter came and my son crushed it.   
  • Travelled to Milwaukee. Consumed beer. Baby sick. New teeth. Little sleep.       

And that’s about it!  Ok, so I’m a bit biased… I’m completely and absolutely in love with my now 9 month old son and he’s kind of a big deal.  

Sorry I didn’t post much but I will try (ha!) to post a wee bit more frequently than once a year!

See ya!  


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Writing 101, Day Three: Commit to a Writing Practice

Day 3 of The Daily Post’s Writing 101 assignment asks:

Write about the three most important songs in your life — what do they mean to you?

Song #1 – Never Gonna Give You Up (Rick Astley)

Why would I dare Rickroll my own post?  Well because it was just so catchy, just so viral way back in 2008… it just had to be the song that me and my just married wife walked down the pier immediately after the ceremonies! (yes, I got married on a pier with Lake Michigan on either sides of us… jealous much?)

Song #2 – Harder, Better, Faster, Stonger (Daft Punk)

This song means a lot to me for some reason… maybe only for the fact that it was my first introduction to the awesomeness that is this masked duo.  It was synced to this pretty cool flash video that I found on ebaumsworld in college, riiiight when flash videos started gaining popularity.  It’s just got a great rhythm and beat to it and its also something I came to have in common with my wife as she also loves Daft Punk too! (hmmm.. seems to be a theme to these song choices… lets see what Song 3 has to say.)

Song #3 – Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy (Ren & Stimpy Show)

Probably the quintessential cartoon show of the 90s, Ren Aand Stimpy is one of those shows that you don’t realize at the time just how…. insane it really is.  This of course is the one song that everybody and their cousin can sing word for word (duh… only 4 words!)  and yes… another song that me and my wife (yes! 3 for 3 in wife references! someone’s getting a foot rub tonight!)  (her.) came to find out we share a fondness for once we realized just how dirty and silly the show was.


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Writing 101 Day Two: A Room with a View

The Daily Post’s 2nd writing assignment asks the question:

If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?

That’s a good question.   I think I would take advantage of light-speed travel and zip right over to:

Yeah, that’s pretty much it.  I figured I could use light-speed travel to go off to distant galaxies… go to the far corners of the globe in the blink of an eye… or something else fantasical and wonderful. 

But I really just wanna be home.  With my wife.  And my soon-to-be-born child. 

I want to rest my head on her belly and feel the gentile prods of its feet and hands pressing outward.

I want to be sitting Al Bundy-style, on the couch… watching the late night Sox game.

Most of all, I want to be home because…

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Writing 101, Day One: Unlock the Mind

(note: tastefully copied from the post put directly on The Daily Post’s site, which was not evidently the “right thing to do”.  Now back to your regularly scheduled blog)

Aw hell, enough with the excuses why I haven’t written in forever.  Lets just do this shall we?  I’m going to take part in Writing 101, the June posting thingy on The Daily Post.

Here’s the Day One assignment:

To get started, let’s loosen up. Let’s unlock the mind. Today, take twenty minutes to free write. And don’t think about what you’ll write. Just write.

Ok, I’m free writing.  It’s kinda freeing (ha!) how this feels honestly.  I don’t have to worry about picking a topic to write on… I don’t have to worry about it being interesting, or funny, or topical, or dumb, or worry about the approval I deperately seek… Wait, why am I so desparate (or is it desperate?) for attention when I write?  I mean… i guess i’ve answered my own question right?  Why else do we write?  We are selfish…so damn selfish.  I just need… I dunno… validation that there’s something more to this (sometimes) hum drum existence.  I feel alone in my thoughts.  I want them to get out. I want them to be read and to be enjoyed and I want to create something real!

Speaking of which, I have literally created something real in the sense that I have created a real life human being.  Well, its there in the oven still.  My wife’s 7 months pregnant now with out first child and that was a doozy in itself to do… See me and my wife went thru infertility problems.  You know, how there’s some people who just get pregnant without even really trying?!  Yeah… that didn’t happen for us.  It’s like, quality control for the human race I guess.  Randomness/chaos rules.  Some of us reproduce like goddamn rabbits, some of us get born with lazy swimmers and tubes that aren’t exactly spotless. 

some do.  Some don’t.  And that’s just how the cookie crumbles right?  So we took about 2 years or so… seeing doctors, having procedures, getting shot with needles, taking cocktails of pills that even Whitney Houston would raise an eyebrow at.  Not sure why I took the sideswipe there on Whitney… but hey, crack is whack right?  Anyway, spent about a year spinning our wheels before we met this awesome fertility doctor who… through his magic wand and a couple of implantations was able to do what your intrepid blogger couldn’t.  And I couldn’t be more grateful. 

By the way, technically the day she was “impregnated” impregnated (oops, no quotes necessary, that is actually right)  was FRIDAY The 13th!  SO once our child becomes the next Bill Gates/Barack Obama/Jimmy Smits/etc. and cures cancer/ends world hunger/creates a decent movie vehicle for the talent that is Jimmy Smits/etc.  we’ll finally be able to end the nonsense surround that superstitious day!  Yah!

Ummmm, oh right, what’s next?  I like this whole stream of consciousness thing, I’m just typing what hits my brain and then my fingers decide to hit the right keys in the right order and BOOM!  wORDS!  sTUFF!  i FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK!!! ok, there we go.  hmmm… how much time is left?  tick tock tick tock… Ok, i think my time is up… break time is done.  Time to go make the donuts and let the public have their way with me.  Peace out and don’t let the door…yeah bye.

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Can You Skinny Dip Safely in an Atomic Lake?


So I tried looking up a business that makes Atomic Cakes using the Maps app on my phone.

Thanks to my fat fingers, I am now aware of the fact that such a lake exists. Awesome random find I must say.

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Trifextra 100: “The First Time I Saw…”

The first time I saw the heart beat,

all of the doubt,

all of the fear,

was gone in a flash.

Now comes the dry heaves

Aches throb in my head.

Just six and one months to go.


This is my entry for the 100th Trifextra.  33 1-syllable words following “The First Time I Saw“.  Thanks for reading!

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A Killer In Your Fridge ~ Sweet Poison…A MUST READ

Rhonda Gessner

In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick She had stomach spasms and she was having a hard time getting around. Walking was a major chore. It took everything she had just to get out of bed; she was in so much pain.

By March 2002, she had undergone several tissue and muscle biopsies and was on 24 various prescription medications. The doctors could not determine what was wrong with her. She was in so much pain, and so sick she just knew she was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc., in her oldest daughter’s name, and made sure that her younger children were to be taken care of.

She also wanted her last hooray, so she planned a trip to Florida (basically in a wheelchair) for March 22nd.

On March 19, I called her to ask how her most recent tests went, and…

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