Writing 101 Day Two: A Room with a View

The Daily Post’s 2nd writing assignment asks the question:

If you could zoom through space in the speed of light, what place would you go to right now?

That’s a good question.   I think I would take advantage of light-speed travel and zip right over to:

Yeah, that’s pretty much it.  I figured I could use light-speed travel to go off to distant galaxies… go to the far corners of the globe in the blink of an eye… or something else fantasical and wonderful. 

But I really just wanna be home.  With my wife.  And my soon-to-be-born child. 

I want to rest my head on her belly and feel the gentile prods of its feet and hands pressing outward.

I want to be sitting Al Bundy-style, on the couch… watching the late night Sox game.

Most of all, I want to be home because…

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Writing 101, Day One: Unlock the Mind

(note: tastefully copied from the post put directly on The Daily Post’s site, which was not evidently the “right thing to do”.  Now back to your regularly scheduled blog)

Aw hell, enough with the excuses why I haven’t written in forever.  Lets just do this shall we?  I’m going to take part in Writing 101, the June posting thingy on The Daily Post.

Here’s the Day One assignment:

To get started, let’s loosen up. Let’s unlock the mind. Today, take twenty minutes to free write. And don’t think about what you’ll write. Just write.

Ok, I’m free writing.  It’s kinda freeing (ha!) how this feels honestly.  I don’t have to worry about picking a topic to write on… I don’t have to worry about it being interesting, or funny, or topical, or dumb, or worry about the approval I deperately seek… Wait, why am I so desparate (or is it desperate?) for attention when I write?  I mean… i guess i’ve answered my own question right?  Why else do we write?  We are selfish…so damn selfish.  I just need… I dunno… validation that there’s something more to this (sometimes) hum drum existence.  I feel alone in my thoughts.  I want them to get out. I want them to be read and to be enjoyed and I want to create something real!

Speaking of which, I have literally created something real in the sense that I have created a real life human being.  Well, its there in the oven still.  My wife’s 7 months pregnant now with out first child and that was a doozy in itself to do… See me and my wife went thru infertility problems.  You know, how there’s some people who just get pregnant without even really trying?!  Yeah… that didn’t happen for us.  It’s like, quality control for the human race I guess.  Randomness/chaos rules.  Some of us reproduce like goddamn rabbits, some of us get born with lazy swimmers and tubes that aren’t exactly spotless. 

some do.  Some don’t.  And that’s just how the cookie crumbles right?  So we took about 2 years or so… seeing doctors, having procedures, getting shot with needles, taking cocktails of pills that even Whitney Houston would raise an eyebrow at.  Not sure why I took the sideswipe there on Whitney… but hey, crack is whack right?  Anyway, spent about a year spinning our wheels before we met this awesome fertility doctor who… through his magic wand and a couple of implantations was able to do what your intrepid blogger couldn’t.  And I couldn’t be more grateful. 

By the way, technically the day she was “impregnated” impregnated (oops, no quotes necessary, that is actually right)  was FRIDAY The 13th!  SO once our child becomes the next Bill Gates/Barack Obama/Jimmy Smits/etc. and cures cancer/ends world hunger/creates a decent movie vehicle for the talent that is Jimmy Smits/etc.  we’ll finally be able to end the nonsense surround that superstitious day!  Yah!

Ummmm, oh right, what’s next?  I like this whole stream of consciousness thing, I’m just typing what hits my brain and then my fingers decide to hit the right keys in the right order and BOOM!  wORDS!  sTUFF!  i FORGOT TO TURN OFF THE CAPS LOCK!!! ok, there we go.  hmmm… how much time is left?  tick tock tick tock… Ok, i think my time is up… break time is done.  Time to go make the donuts and let the public have their way with me.  Peace out and don’t let the door…yeah bye.

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Can You Skinny Dip Safely in an Atomic Lake?


So I tried looking up a business that makes Atomic Cakes using the Maps app on my phone.

Thanks to my fat fingers, I am now aware of the fact that such a lake exists. Awesome random find I must say.

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Trifextra 100: “The First Time I Saw…”

The first time I saw the heart beat,

all of the doubt,

all of the fear,

was gone in a flash.

Now comes the dry heaves

Aches throb in my head.

Just six and one months to go.


This is my entry for the 100th Trifextra.  33 1-syllable words following “The First Time I Saw“.  Thanks for reading!

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A Killer In Your Fridge ~ Sweet Poison…A MUST READ

Rhonda Gessner

In October of 2001, my sister started getting very sick. She had stomach spasms and she was having a hard time getting around. Walking was a major chore. It took everything she had just to get out of bed; she was in so much pain.

By March 2002, she had undergone several tissue and muscle biopsies and was on 24 various prescription medications. The doctors could not determine what was wrong with her. She was in so much pain, and so sick she just knew she was dying.

She put her house, bank accounts, life insurance, etc., in her oldest daughter’s name, and made sure that her younger children were to be taken care of.

She also wanted her last hooray, so she planned a trip to Florida (basically in a wheelchair) for March 22nd.

On March 19, I called her to ask how her most recent tests went, and…

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Time To Make It Rain!


It’s Wednesday night. Rough day for Jaime and I. This is the only natural way to blow off steam…

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NaBloPoMo Day 15: The 2013 Pizza Wars Have Begun

English: Chicago Style Pizza with a rich tomat...

English: Chicago Style Pizza with a rich tomato topping. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So Jon Stewart went on a complete tirade against Chicago Deep-Dish Style Pizza a few days ago.  His stance is that New York pizza is “real pizza” and ours is “a f*#!ing casserole”.

Here’s the clip over on HuffPo.

Of course, as Chicagoans… we aren’t going to go on a nationally-televised cable talk show and rant like a mad man against a different style of how to make a simple food item.  We just make nice rebuttals without spit flying from our foaming mouths…


You Decide.

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