The Long Con – A Christmas Tale

Are you a Lost fan?  Well I was am! It’s probably one of my top 3 TV series of all time, and there’s a character on the show named Sawyer.  Sawyer was a scruffy, Southern con man who used his persuasive powers to grift and deceive his way through life! (Then a bunch of stuff happend on an Island and Polar Bears were involved)

But in the 2nd season of Lost, there is an episode titled “The Long Con” which had Sawyer pull one of these off which netted him a cool $600,000.  To explain, a long con isn’t just some ridiculous “Sell someone an iPad at a gas station for $200 and it turns out to be a mirror instead” trick.  (Wait.  It really did happen? Amazing…)  The long con is one that takes days if not weeks or months of planning, waiting to lull the mark into a false sense of security and then striking when they least expect it. 

This Christmas, Lenny fell victim to the Long Con…So let’s go back to how this all began.  A couple of months ago, the wife, my mother-in-law, and I all go to the Apple store at the mall.  Jaime says we are getting my mother-in-law an iPad 2 for Christmas and we are going to chip in half of the price tag.  Of course when I get there I turn into a 12 year old kid oohing and ahhing at all the shiny Apple stuff… things I can’t necessarily afford.  But I get over it because it’s for Louise (ok, tired of typing Mother-in-law, so I’m outing her!) and she’s been really great to me and to Jaime, helping us out over the years of our relationship when we’ve really needed it. 

Now fast forward to Christmas.  We are at Louise’s house exchanging presents with her and Taylor (the Sister-in-law).  I open my presents… T-shirts and Boxers (much needed); Cap and scarf (also needed); and finally I get the last gift.  I unwrap it and here’s how it unfolded:

Stage 1: Confusion

Stage 1: Confusion

Huh?  This isn’t mine… this is Louise’s gift.  WHY DOES THIS PRESENT HAVE MY NAME ON IT??

Stage 2: Denial

Stage 2: Denial


Stage 3: Blissful Acceptance

Stage 3: Blissful Acceptance


Yeah, so they totally pulled the Longest of Cons on me as this iPad2 was actually for me the whole damn time!  This is probably the most expensive gift I’ve ever received (not that it’s about $$$ of course) but I was so surprised and confused that everybody took joy in my slow burn of emotions!  And, evidently, everybody else and their mommas knew of her plan!  I was the only dope who didn’t catch on and luckily for me, I’m glad I didn’t! 

I got a bunch of other cool stuff (It was also my Birthday on Christmas Eve!) and had a wonderful dinner with my family that night.  So thankful to have family that really care about me and love me for who I am! 

Now I’m off to watch all of Lost tonight on Netflix! Namaste!

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