Adventures in Bowling on the West Side (or How I Nearly Lost to a 13 Year Girl)

Bowling. Great American sport? Or Awesome American Sport of Kings? Seriously, its fun and enjoyable on so many levels. You get to drink delicious beer the whole time! You dont have to be in shape! You can be absolutely horrible and yet its the only sport that can make it virtually impossible to fail if they have bumpers! Not that I would ever use them… Coughcough

So when Jaime (i.e. Wifey) says we’re going bowling with her coworker and her 13 year old kid, you bet your ass I was ready to bust down some pins!

That feeling evaporated, however, as soon as we walked into Bowling Purgatory, better known as Striker Lanes in Berwyn.  Not only was the place dark and desolate, the lone human working the joint looked like he forgot to pay up after losing too many bets to his bookie.  I mean he had bruises and wounds on all over his face and he didn’t look too happy to have to deal with us at all.  So after about 5 minutes of we just decided to book it to literally ANY bowling alley not run by Mike Tyson’s punching bag.

That alley ended up being an AMF lanes in the next town over which was like stepping into George Jetson’s world compared to the one we just escaped. Automatic scoring, TVs to watch while bowling, and nice old ladies running the bar.  Like that noted burglar Goldilocks said, this place was “just right”

So finally its time to rock and roll.Now remember the 13 year old daughter of my wife’s coworker? We let her go first, you know let the kid feel special and all…and she just calmly walks up rolls a perfectly placed strike on the first try! My wife and I are looking at each other like “She brought a freaking ringer!”  Then for the rest of the night, she decides to out on a clinic, hitting strike after strike… Ok, i’m exaggerating just a wee bit, she did do pretty darn well for a pre teen, and it did take a strike for me on the last frame to barely edge her and save my bruised ego!

Oh, Happy Memorial Day! USA! USA!

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